0731

I told P, A, C on my plan and will be adding more contacts in my list. This is a close knit fraternity, I have to ensure we keep our ties strong. I have to stop laughing at people's final incorrect estimation of my plan. The next 2 things i need to do is to continue to beg and ask dajie and daddie for good testimonials and ask them to be my future referrals. I will miss the people here, but it is time for me to take a peek outside and take a huge risk. I did a 35 mins run, yesterday's aikido was tough H, my senior is back and she demonstrate a good elbow final lock*ouch*

0729

I met up with L and J, asking L on Hr stuff, she is becoming my personal Hr consultant already, soon she will put me in her case study essays. C:

J is my usual sunshine, he keep kissing me when I ask him too. I have absolute no doubt that we are either lost-lost buddies from some past lives, or known each other before this lifetimes.

Cl's coworker is so autistic, she reminds me of myself, sitting in the pathetic corner in secondary
school among the bitches, I think it does affect me in many ways even decades now, but I am not sure how though. The world is always having a silent prejudice to introverted/quiet people, I train myself not to be the old quiet gal who gets all the verbal bully. I am still trying very hard, hopefully T can learn not to take all the unnecessary craps from people before she toughten up.

0727

Finally I send the letter today. Dajie was asking so much question, but I am sure I make the right choice. I wanted to keep going with the lie about taking a break and study. And hey who will believe me, even she knows I am out with a plan, so many weird leave. I am thepractical type, leaving no space for passion inside my office,beside money. I need to jump out of this comfort zone, there is no more room for me to grow in this area.

I am going to take a look at that gym and later watch Ricebowl. Imagine being force to watch something you do not fancy, yes it is my job now.

0725

"I like you, you are smart."

I make it, but it will be a tough long run ahead of me, I am looking at ultramarathon in the race of my career, I can wait. A little shin pain or a recurring ITB injury does not kill me, it makes me stronger.

I realise one new thing: Acting cocky can actually make people think you are confident, as long as if you are not too-over-the top. It does not even matter if you are not even confident of speaking well in English. Zenpoet must remember to keep the head smaller, and feet firmly stick to the ground.

Kinderen voor Kinderen song - Two Fathers

That was in Dutch, a very powerful message sent.

0716

I was eating at a coffee shop (aka kopitiam) and this old man was drinking 3 bottles of beer. He kept saying loudly nonstop about:
- Young people having a easy life and it is too expensive to have many kids
- Kids are now having hand phones and are spoilt
-Young working class like ME waste money to eat out instead of home cooked food.
If life is so bad, why are you wasting money drinking those stupid expensive beer, for God's sake?

I have had enough and changed my tables, I just want to enjoy a peaceful hot dinner after a tired day at work. Why cannot old people be like Q-San, be dignified,skillful, with a quiet and strong personality. That is all you need to gain that respect, to h*ll with your age or seniority!
He remind me of daddy, honestly I do not care if he disappear now in front of my eyes.

My aunt came last weekend and bitch that "poor daddy" is sitting alone in coffee shop like a bachelor, doesn't he have a family? Oh yes, he used to, but he trashed it all, even mum, the good perosn, hangs around with her friends more than him, obviously she does not give any respect to him anymore as well. I eat and drink alone all the time, and have I ever whin? Mum says why did not I greet auntie? Why should I bother when she is putting me down since I was a baby? My mouth is only useful for quarrel with idiots like her.

I do not give a fu*king damn if you are 3 or 80, if you have some self-respect and stop being a nuisance, you will get the respect you wish for.

I just give a "double thumb down" to a blue-collar-working tanned man, he was doing that irritating whistle while I run. I decide not to give him the finger in case I get beaten up, no way I can put up with any verbal insults. He give a shocked look,. :) My dear friend, next time I make sure I do a shoulder rub if you do it again. If you dare touch me I will shout molest. CL told me this is a a gal's way to get away with physical assaults.

I am probably in a fury mood these days, when will I slam that chair into 3 peices?

On a better note, the Friday meeting was a breeze, we end up like chatting and bitching about this vendor's super low quality work, but expectation wise. I might have some issues with the place, can they pay higher?

Butch hunt was a eye opener, Lane is a hottie, but I cannot see properly in the dark. Calvin is braless in white top:( I should have go to the front of the stage. The smoking ban is a nonsmoker's dream comes true! :)

Youtube takes forever to download L word.*yawns* If not for Shane... I wont be bother to wait.

I seem to have slight flu symptoms and skip Aikido, I brought all my barangs (equipment and clothes). My new coworker says that on Friday, the flu bug seem to erupt. Oh no, the hot weather seem to return after a week of breeze.

I register online or the half marathon, time to find a clinic to do body check, stop procrastinating.

0712

明天请假，不知道还能做什么节目，可能去老地方跑步，再出去走走。今晚会去“玩”吗？不知道，哈哈。

下班！

可能是黑色星期五的怪运气作祟，希望如此。

看似无路，其实是柳暗花明又一村？

Sodagreen -Xiao QIng Ge

Sodagreen Xiao Qing Ge

One of the best new songs I have heard so far, must keep a lookout for this band,the voice is way out of this-world-good, and weird at the same time. Although he push the androynous border a little too far, I think he is a sweet guy, at least a nice friend.

M told me of this new independent singer call Zhang Xuan, I cannot feel anything from her voice or her songs except a wannabe-Chen-Qi-Zhen(Cheer Chan) . Maybe the vocals is too weak or I need to listen her live before I can appreciate her voice. I need more time.

Yesterday's run was a pathetic 69minutes 20s econds, but the good news is my stitch is so minor I run the whole run and my ITB were tolerable. I do not have problem walking up the stairs like usual, its time to do more speed run.
My brother has not fix the Chinese Chararter program in my PC yet...

0706

老爹说大姐这样堕落下去，恐怕大家都一起被连累，人在江身不由己。

即使我已经做到可以对说有的人不屑一顾，对你我仍然没辙。

昨天我跑了整整50分钟，状态还算好。看着青峰的部落格，对他非常欣赏。

都是中文系的，可是我却差这么多。既没天分，也没理想，更没勇气做自己。

0705

今年，我又没有忘记你的生日，真的受不了这种无谓的坚持。

十几年的时光就这样悄悄地消磨掉，而你变得更市侩了吗，还记得我吗？

我和大多数上班族一样，天天带着面具做“人际”战争。

没法子，适者生存，弱肉强食，你技术不如人，就得弃权。其实我的水准还有待进步，比起一些EQ白痴，比起从前，好多了。 ：）

很遗憾， 我们的梦想最终可能只是梦想。我总是希望更多个人空间作自己热爱的事。

小奇说人如果好好地包装自己，在求职方面一定可以占优势，我要加油啦。

可是到头来，我心里很明白， 最勇敢的人才能够义无反顾地最求梦想，而最大的绊脚石空怕是自己。

小林一伙死党说如果赢了“多多”，就马上去南美洲玩，何止呢，我看还得去台湾再疯一回。

我们正在打算一起去便宜的小岛玩，我好久没出国玩了。

昨天跑步时旧伤小发作，所以只跑了半小时。我的膝盖好像随时会罢工，摆脱你们不要在周末发疯。

爸越来越靠不住了，他连银行簿都藏起来，不让妈察看，男人一有钱就变成魔鬼，根本不值得依靠。 如果他不给弟弟大学费，我不会就此罢休的。这下三烂。

看见大学同学做自己喜欢的新闻工作，为她高兴，毕竟曾经一起实习两个多月。

该不该厚着脸皮去参加比赛？

我不是不要对你们诚实，而是你们是否可以抛开世俗的偏见，接受真是的，独立，的我？

而我是不是可以坦然的面对最大的敌人？

为何地球一直在公转自转，时间也不会为谁而停留，我却原封不动，徘徊在原点？自由是自我陶醉的状态吗，还是苦苦修炼才能成功？

0703

Over the weekend, we gather at L's place, the boy has grown up a lot, he has many ideas of his own, and his personality is getting bigger. He is very fascinated by cranes, when we leave and share a cab, he kept pointing to all the construction site cranes along the way to us, indeed he is a typical boy.

P say she might go ECP to blade with her sisters, and so may contact me if I am still around after the race. I need to get new ITB strap, I am not sure if I should take painkillers for such small race as I seem to be have mild allergic to Panadol, hmm.